Bad Luck Pussy - Shit Happens
Bad Luck Pussy - Sometimes... Shit Happens


Old Turds
04/01/2001 - 04/30/2001
05/01/2001 - 05/31/2001
06/01/2001 - 06/30/2001
07/01/2001 - 07/31/2001
08/01/2001 - 08/31/2001
09/01/2001 - 09/30/2001
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11/01/2001 - 11/30/2001
12/01/2001 - 12/31/2001
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02/01/2002 - 02/28/2002
12/01/2004 - 12/31/2004
02/01/2005 - 02/28/2005
04/01/2005 - 04/30/2005
05/01/2005 - 05/31/2005
06/01/2005 - 06/30/2005
07/01/2005 - 07/31/2005

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9225872 1/31/2002 12:08:53 AM
husband and i stayed up late playing board games, he kicked my ass at trivial pursuit, winning in one feel swoop of a turn. he didn't get a single question wrong, got all his pies and ended up in the middle before i could get more then my first question in. the sly devil. then we played chess, and i had him in checkmate but didn't know it, everything he tried to do left his king vulnerable, and revenge was mine. my cowboy blanket got peed on this morning and was in the wash but not dry yet, so that's what i'm waiting on... and no i was not the one who pissed on it.

9221056 1/30/2002 08:32:11 PM
it's been really warm lately, freakishly even. mid seventies and sunny in january, while last week it snowed. bizarre. did i mention i don't like the south? i finished all my craft projects for my mom today, and i'll be sending them soon as we get paid. still haven't found a job, though to be fair i must say i haven't been looking that hard. i dropped off an application at the video store monday and picked up another from the local grocery store. i haven't filled it out yet though. we're really broke until next week so we've been conserving gas, staying home and eating creative yet inexpensive meals: lots of pasta, home made pitas, beans and more pasta. three of our five ebay auctions were cancelled for a ridiculous technicality they call keyword spamming. basicly it's when you put a word in the title or description that doesn't describe the actual item, to attract people to it, like say you had a pair of lovely black boots that looks just like doc martens, and you put doc martens in the description to describe what they look like, that's bad and they cancel your auction and make you agry for doing something that seems to me, to be entirely legitimate. whatever though, they're real pricks. my connection has seemed really slow and tempermental lately, the modem shuts itself down occasionally, and things load slow as hell, and i cuss. i think the tagboard might be screwing with this page loading, sometimes it says done, and there's just the background... maybe i have too many gizmos. i haven't decided yet if i'll be keeping it in the new layout. it's kind of nice to get little messages and stuff, but it takes up quite a bit of bandwidth, and isn't all that exciting or superb.

9212750 1/30/2002 04:10:29 PM
i haven't had much to say lately.

9118094 1/28/2002 03:03:53 AM
i think this page has the most excellent use of chromeless pop-up windows i've ever seen. the whole theme rocks too.

9117998 1/28/2002 02:55:17 AM
i'm not sure how i feel about this blogger pro business. i'm weary of things becoming membership driven, especially when they promise better features and reliability, because once you fork out the dough, you're just another sucker encourageing the death of quality free services. i'll probably just be moving on to greymatter or some other script i can run on my own server, because i don't want to be stuck with something like livejournal... ick. i'm working on a new layout for this site, it's neat but i think it might not go over well with some people... it's not sweet or cute or kawaii in any way. actually it's kinda badass. i've been kind of stuck with a label of sorts, because most people get to this domain via my ultra cutesy pixelated gizmo site, and sure i like it, made it and think it's super, but it gets three times more traffic then any other part of this domain, and people go apeshit over it, and think... wow this chick is all about THIS. little cutesy pixelated gizmos. so i'm perceived as one thing, and i am comprised of many, so it's weird. i get irritated and grouchy sometimes, but whatever... come here and take what you want from what i made, enjoy what you can, just don't bitch if i cuss or talk about yeast infections. speaking of which, i wish i could will one upon this little toad for stealing my background and refusing to take it down, not replying to my emails and pretending to be me apologizing to her in her guestbook. another one for the twinkie file i suppose.

9109124 1/27/2002 07:22:31 PM
the current groovy cam picture is one of the maneki nekos i made the other day. he's an original, hand painted figurine i made from sculpey, but i have a handful of fridge magnet ones i made from a one sided mold i also made from the original flat one. if anyone wants a hand made maneki neko fridge magnet by midge, you can have one painted whichever color you like for the low low price of $3 ($2 for materials, one for shipping), they're maybe 1 and a half inches tall? they hold a coin, wear a collar and bib, though the collar and bib aren't necessary... i just paint them on. i can also make figurines like the one on the cam, if all you want is a small one to stand around. email me if you're interested. this isn't a big money making scheme or anything, selling some would just help me justify spending money on craft supplies, and help me liquidate my stockpile of lucky cat friends.

9108318 1/27/2002 06:54:54 PM
last night i shaved husband's head. my repeated attempts at trimming the back to keep it within regulatory length at his anal retentive asshole job, had result is a strangely shaped loaf, that he decided, needed to go. can't say i blame him... but frighteningly enough i did a better job then the chick at cost cutters, and free to boot. because of paycheck timing we're pretty broke for the next two weeks, i'm not sure how we'll manage to ship our ebay auctions out... plasma center maybe? who knows. we always come up with a way. we watched rock & roll higschool yesterday. as far as bad 80's movies go, it was terrible, though i loved seeing the ramones, i couldn't help but wonder, how many brightly colored satin suits can this chick own?. i suppose the absurd cheesiness of it all was pretty charming, and i thought it was so sweet that they dedicated the dvd release to joey ramone's memory, so it was awful, but in a great way, which is cool sometimes. tonight we're taping cartoons we won't get in canada, because i know i will jones for them. i'm planning to record the new home movies, space ghost coast to coast, brak show and the two 1 am showings of the critic on comedy central. husband says he will do it, because i don't edit out the commercials, he is that meticulous. our taxes are done, we get back a fat check and the latest k-mart bankruptcy has made the piddly 3 and a half shares of walmart stock i acquired through the high pressure, employee stock purchase program for suckers go up a few points. we're selling it tomorrow. money is good.

9059704 1/25/2002 10:03:42 PM
i worked on crafty projects today, and learned that acrylic paint doesn't stick well to sculpey polymer clay. husband went to the store to buy tortilla chips and salsa and we have a movie to watch. he found out today how much $ he'll be raking in on unemployment... and it works out to around 30$ more per week then if he were working. figure that shit out... i mean, why work? he brought home an application from the video store, which is a pretty swell idea because it's pud nerd work with two free rentals per night. i know a few of the people that work there too from my nights at wal-mart, they always came in after work and fucked around with layaways. maybe they wouldn't hold my persona non gratta status there against me? it's hard to say... i'm not sure which one is the manager. it's been such a fun slacky day... i'm playing guns & roses on winamp. good times.

9031295 1/25/2002 12:45:21 AM
i have husband home for 8 weeks now. i'm so glad.

8995628 1/23/2002 11:04:23 PM
okay people, i am fat. i know this, and i have no shame in it. if you feel the need to be an asshole, try and put me down because of it, that's fine, you can, though a more constructive activity might be to take the time you spend harassing the tagboards and guestbooks of fat people, visiting websites like to learn about size prejuidice and how deeply it can affect others. i don't have to diet for you or anyone else, just like you don't have to mature for me or anyone else.

8961262 1/23/2002 12:09:09 AM
i just uploaded my maneki neko page, about the little japanese cat with one raised paw, and even though i have a few things left to add, i hope people will go to it and use the little free e-card thingies and enjoy the icons and stuff. There are also some little fortune cat adoptions i made that will remain exclusive to that page and not be available here... except for the one i chose to beckon more visitors forth (on the left side there) so go look. seriously. I only have one, but I am seriously obsessed with those little critters.

8952437 1/22/2002 06:27:51 PM
i just had the badassness of reign in blood over south of heaven explained to me and indeterminable slayer is blaring from the kitchen. i feel like i'm in langford.

8951793 1/22/2002 06:08:46 PM
we got our phonebill today and it seemed incredibly high. upon closer inspection we find a $45, 34 minute phonecall to my mom, billed to sprint, instead of the super cheap 10-10-220 i always use. i either forgot to dial the 10-10-220 first, which i've never done before, or they fucked up, which wouldn't be surprising. i called and screamed at them, the lady said she would issue a refund for the entire month but that it wouldn't go through until after a manager approved it. i don't see that happening... but it'll do for now. i'm calling back in a few days to find out the verdict the cheese passes down. i won't pay quietly. phone companies are messed up, complicated billing procedures, insane rates, and when you call to complain about their outrageous prices, they try to get you to sign up for plans and buy cell phones and stuff. it's silly. husband ordered himself a skateboard and i got a promise we would be gone from this ass backwards swamp by july 1st. i love compromise. he worries about money, i worry about losing my mind. i tell him... every day i live here, a little piece of me dies... and as dramatic as it sounds, it's true. i've got itchy feet and i just want to leave.

8913843 1/21/2002 03:58:51 PM
i updated dyn-0-mite, added some people and there are two more that need to go up i've just misplaced their emails and got confused (leelee & queenie i'm talking bout 'chu!). whatever i'll figure it out and finish later. i'm working on a site i'm making about maneki neko. i want to shy away from making sites for the sake of making them, and creating faux communities i don't care about and get bored with (can anyone say ikonboard?), and concentrate on making things i like, available to people... maybe even informative useful stuff. the daria movie is on tonight, and a sponge bob square pants marathon has kept me sedated all day. i've been mopey and in slow motion but there's nothing i need to take care of so it doesn't seem to be hurting anything. husband has been talking crazy, wanting a skateboard again so he can run around and shatter his kneecaps and make me worry. he tries to rationalize it by promising me shoes. dude... it won't work.

8906778 1/21/2002 11:57:30 AM
i went to 7-11 to apply and i got to speak with the boss lady. she seemed nice and it all seemed to go okay until she said she'd call wal-mart for a reference and then think about it. somehow i don't think they'll give me glowing compliments. i'm trying not to worry about, not to care, but it's hard. applying for jobs is so soul sucking. i hate trying to sell myself, knowing that i am being judged and rated and compared against others. it's degrading.

8885519 1/20/2002 06:59:19 PM
i'm kind of excited about tomorrow. it all began this afternoon, when i found my 1/2 inch barbell in the q-tip jar. i had been looking for it ever since i quit wal-mart, because their fascist no facial jewelry policy was no longer my concern, and i wanted to put my tongue stud back in, but i could never find it. of course the hole was closed over, more severly then usual too, a blunt end cross stiching needle wasn't going to do the trick. i have an old 14 guage piercing needle laying around, left over from my short stint working in a tattoo shop in indiana as a piercer, and i made a new hole using that. it was slow going and pretty painful, but oddly enough, not as much as the initial piercing. to combat the swelling we went to 7-11 to get slurpees, and there it was, hanging in the window. a crudely hung help wanted sign, with evenings and weekends scrawled in magic marker. full or part time. beauty i thought. so i'm going to go apply tomorrow. it's close to ym house, and i like the idea of working a la lone gun, without 12 supervisors in cheap ties scurrying around looking for things to hassle me about. if i have to refill the condiment bar or schlep out some hot dogs, so be it. it seems like a nice quiet pud gig. just right for me, for now anyways.

8862144 1/19/2002 09:34:40 PM
it snowed today but i was too ill to enjoy it. by the time we got outside it was getting dark and the falling snow had turned to rainy sludge and things were starting to freeze over and get slick. we hurried home before the roads got too treacherous.

8835263 1/18/2002 08:27:17 PM
i get these ideas in my head of what i want to do, and i can't get them out. i want to do something right now, a home business venture of sorts, but i need $ to do it, to obtain the supplies to begin. that's all i need, is a beginning, a chance to try, fail or succeed. we have $, but it has placed it needs to go. u-haul truck, hotel rooms, food, gas, ferry rides, they all cost money, we're moving so we're going to need it. and this plan of mine is long term-ish. it won't be huge windfalls of thousands of dollars anyways, which is about the only thing that would warrant tying our current savings sock up. so no dice... i have to wait... for what or when i don't know. everything seems so far off and distant right now, i feel like i need change right now. friday will be husband's last day, he gets an 8 week vacation courtesy of our struggling economy and gross mismanagement at his place of work. i'm going to go apply places monday, feeling a bit less bitter, for now anyways.

8834606 1/18/2002 08:01:08 PM
this quiz is mean. i'm not toxic... am i?

Drink me!

8797827 1/17/2002 05:02:03 PM
i got my last paycheck today, and it was 80$ bigger than either of us had expected. we went to the china dynasty buffet and pigged out on sushi and crab rangoon. they have the best food, and the place was deserted, so it was nice and quiet, for the most part. our waitress was having some sort of altercation, she was crying and a man from the kitchen came out and started yelling at her, then another woman came in and started yelling at the man, and they both went to the kitchen and continued yelling, while the waitress was visibly upset in the little refreshment/cutlery ghetto. we felt bad or her and left her a really good tip. we went to michaels to get some little wooden wheels for a wooden train car husband is making for the child, and i didn't buy anything but i lusted the screen printing kit thoroughly. husband has tomorrow off, and monday too, and his work might be laying him off for 9 weeks instead of six, starting monday, we'll find out tomorrow. i'm not stressed about it because we'd actually be getting more money that way. it would be easier for me to get a job that way too. i decided i'm going to apply at stores i like, even though they're further away, because it seems like it might be less depressing. so michael's, best buy, target, petsmart and lane bryant, brace yourselves... i'll be by tomorrow with bells on.

8741140 1/16/2002 12:35:18 AM
i never plug sites, i'm too self involved and i always stalk the same 3 pages anonymously. being friendly and reaching out to people interferes too much in my don't ask don't tell policy of jaded mistrust and conceit on the internet. it's good for avoiding hassles, dissapointment, drama and psycho stalkers, appart from the occasional unbaited stalker that just won't go away (hi megie), but anyways this is all beside the point. visit kim, she has an interesting perspective on quality writing and her domain is hosted at the same place as mine and she posts at dsr. takes a lot doesn't it?

8740632 1/15/2002 11:58:43 PM
i want to make 1 inch button pin thingies, and screen print shirts, i want to create and make and be and on my own terms. i have so much to give i just need people to want to pay me to do it so i can live.

8740451 1/15/2002 11:48:35 PM
i'm unemployed, and i'm getting nothing done, except stupid shit. it's not a depression or anything like that, it's a pattern i always repeat. when i've got fewer obligations, i get lazy and can't get motivated to do anything. i'm not bitching about it, rather enjoying it, for now. my house looks like shit but i don't care. give me a day or two to get out of this funk. this boy's tirade about incompetent teachers got me thinking about an incident in highschool.

my mom and i were usually at odds. messy rooms, strict curfews, responsability and respect; we fought all the time. school sucked, nothing was interesting, it was teenage angst, the whole nine yards, and it was all mine. i had taken a french class, thinking it
would be an easy credit i could probably score an A in with little effort (i'm french eh? so... french class = easy). i could do well in school when i applied myself, but i was a slacker. i rarely applied myself and when i did it was usually because i was getting hassled
or bribed by my mom. the teacher was scottish, not third generation hard on for the motherland scottish, but SCOTTISH scottish. she had an accent on her english, her french was barely decipherable, she wore plaid skirts and had austin powers teeth: a big toothy, nauseating grin. she was horrid.

nobody seemed to understand that her french class was a farce. she taught improper pronounciation to kids who didnít know any better, and probably didnít care. she graded grammar tests incorrectly, slapping big red Xís all over mine, despite the fact that they
were often correct. she knew i was on to her and she singled me out all the time. like i was a freak for knowing my own language. when my mom saw a test i brought home, and found out what was going on, she went nuts. parent teacher conferences ensued,
incompetence was unveiled, and i got to sit in a room in the back: read books, listen to tapes and write occasional tests based on the literature i had been assigned, not read and bullshitted my way through successfully. it was grand. never again did i have to see that
wretched smile.

my point is, my mother, a linguist with a master's degree who also taught french (at an adult level) pointed out what a horrible teacher this woman was, and rather than re-evaluate the teacher in question, retrain, or try to get someone more qualified, the school took me out of her class and gave me a teacher-less slacker version of the curriculum to shut my mother up. they knew she sucked, but let her continue to teach the same subject inaccurately. incidentally because of underestimated student projections when i was in grade 10, i was taught science in a special overflow class lead by the balding basketball coach who related everything to the simplicity of flatulence or purchasing athletic shoes. though i seriously think, if it weren't for all the fucked up problems my school had, i probably never would have graduated as brilliantly as i did, or even at all for that matter. it was all very slacker friendly.

8719293 1/15/2002 10:46:44 AM
hello, my name is midge, i need this. it's been a fun loafy day, husband is home from work again, and i made french toast. oh, and as promised, pictures of my sculpey project, they're going to be magnets!



8659506 1/13/2002 02:10:31 PM
i've been having very tormented sleep lately. unresolved issues and mostly feelings of betrayal surrounding what lead up to quitting wal-mart, manifesting themselves in disturbing and violent dreams. it was personal, i'm pissed, and there's nothing i can do about it. i'm disturbed and sometimes worried about what will happen now, and why it's bothering me so much. i don't care, really. but i guess i must... why else wouldn't i be able to sleep well. looking for work yesterday was a disaster, i was already in a sullen mood, it didn't help. i gave up quickly and scuttled home where husband tried to cheer me up. we went to the store and bought our groceries, and stopped at dunkin doughnuts on the way home. it helped, but once i went to bed it was the whole same thing over again. whatever. time heals all wounds. i've been working on sculpey projects today, relaxing and taking it easy. sundays are good for that. the mess in the kitchen can wait for tomorrow.

8641087 1/12/2002 07:27:11 PM
doughnuts in my belly make me happy.

8637249 1/12/2002 04:22:32 PM
looking for work sucks. i always get flustered and feel self conscious and retarded. it's times like these i wish a generous millionaire would sponsor my existence out of the goodness of his heart. in all the may lay i forgot to mention that i cut my hair on thursday. husband helped, reluctantly at first, even it out. it's shorter and straight now, not angled down like it was before. i'm glad... i had this strange feeling i looked like joan rivers in my previous hairstyle. it's short and bouncy now and pictures are on the live spotlife show if you care to see. i might post some later too.

8615339 1/11/2002 06:14:11 PM
i didn't go look for work today. we loafed around in bed, went for lunch and killed time at the dollar store. we caught a matinee showing of the royal tennenbaums; it came out today (in this hick burg anyways). it was wonderful, i loved it, but then i knew i would. husband was delighted. i bought a new sock hat on clearance at target, because i don't have one and always try to steal husband's with little success. i also got some food for my hamster and hair dye for my roots. i'm addicted to herbal essences hair coloring; it doesn't stink like a caustic mop bucket or set my scalp on fire. i'm going to play literati with my mom in a second and then flop until bed time. i love days like this.

8576399 1/10/2002 01:12:27 PM
husband has tomorrow of so i will go apply for a few jobs while he stays at home with the shrimp. ack this means i'll have to do laundry.

8574350 1/10/2002 11:56:21 AM
i just spent 20 minutes on the phone trying to sort out the mess that is crooked hmo and their unwillingness to pay any of my claims without making it a huge struggle first. maybe it's the canadian love for socialized healthcare i have, but this country has really fucked up health care p[ractices. hmo's come off more like crooked used car salesmen than caring medical professionals. it's all a racket aimed at making money and screwing people. on a lighter note, aunt of husbnd has agreed to cut my hair. i don't want to pay 30$ to have it done because it's just a bob... y'know, apply bowl, cut, follow the lines, not too tricky. plus hair dressers never do what i want, they always stray from my request, or do it all half assed, might as well save my money and let a relative do the same... probably even better, because relatives aren't too concerned about getting you the hell out of their so they can whip another sap into their chair and rake in a few more $ before closing time.

8545093 1/09/2002 11:50:38 AM
blogger has been a real pain in the ass lately. i'm not digging this publishing available in 5 minute blocks shit. oh well at least it'll save the posts, so it's not a total loss. i just finished the new layout for my domain and i'm so happy with it. i drew it on paper and scanned it like i did with my scribbly sketchy looking x-mas design and the kitty heaven site, but colored it with my tablet in adobe photoshop, as opposed to a mouse in paint shop pro. i love my tablet. by the way, a new kitty now resides in kitty heaven. please go see, tell me what you think.

8525266 1/08/2002 05:21:47 PM
8:29 PM.

8523590 1/08/2002 04:12:16 PM
adbusters might publish a letter i sent them. i'm excited. the recon call to wal-mart wasn't very fruitful, they don't give complete references over the phone, only confirmation of work dates. since my mother's lack of any kind of company letterhead or local fax number would prevent her from doing the fax request they asked for, she gave up. i figure the places i want to apply at probably will too... so it's not a big deal. i found out what i wanted to know anyways. we went to the store and got some food and junk we needed, on the way home a black cat crossed our path. i thought he was cute, husband said he was a bastard. apparently they've met before and he never won until today. i'm not really superstitious i guess. i'll walk under ladders and break mirrors and stuff... husband downloaded cypress hill mp3's and they're reminding me of my orange 1974 toyota corolla with blue dingle balls and fuzzy seat covers. we used to drive around and listen to that and be all silly and cold cause there was no heater in the damn thing, and my crappy car stereo always wanted to explode because it cost 50$ at canadian tire. those were the days.

8512599 1/08/2002 08:45:11 AM
i'm baffled by the latest guestbook entry... i'm 24 years old, i can curse all i want. i don't actually curse here as much as i do when speaking, but that's beside the point. how is it my responsability to make sure somebody else's little sister doesn't stumble onto my site and see the word fuck? if you're worried about exposing her to filthy language then delete your history, so she can't find it, or get one of those filtering programs that block pages with curse words and stuff like that, like they use at the library... or better yet, piss off. it's not my job to impose your ethics on your own family by censoring myself. in case you hadn't noticed i maintain this website for my own enjoyment and expression, not so i can get a bunch of people i don't know to worship me and set my page as their homepage. i am being true to myself and whoever appreciates and enjoys that can hang around. i'm not trolling for fans here. so fucking deal with it assmunch.

8496723 1/07/2002 04:11:42 PM
mom is calling my ex-work to check up on what kind of reference they give me. a faux prospective employer background check of sorts. i learned about the wisdom of these years ago when a girl quit her job in a grocery store i worked at, and found out after 4 months of fruitless job hunting, that they had been telling people she probably took money, they weren't sure and couldn't prove it, but she had a bad attitude and wasn't worth hiring. she wasn't like that at all, they were just assholes. i just made a big pot of delicious rice pudding and my belly is bloated... it's making me sleepy. i think next monday i will start applying for jobs, there are so many places nearby i wouldn't mind working at, so it doesn't feel very hopeless or frustrating. i'm sure it won't be an issue. i was working on some stuff for the new layout this afternoon and the computer went psycho. every program gave repetetive error protection faults and i lost everything that wasn't saved. since we've been defragmenting and cleaning out the hard drive, the computer's been behaving better, and i got lazy. serves me right i suppose. i updated binky beads. you might care. you might not.

8458741 1/06/2002 10:04:17 AM
last night we watched enemy at the gate, the world war II sniper flick with jude law and ed harris. it was really bad. the most notable and disturbing flaw it had was that everyone had british accents: the russians, the germans, everyone. it stunk. today was supposed to be some wild and crazy snow storm, but there's only a light drizzling of what looks like rain, going on outside. more unfounded hysteria? probably. yesterday i got to talk to moisha on msn for a while, then my mom called and husband took over. i hope he didn't frighten her too much. i've got the new layout for the domain in the works, and will probably crush a few things before the week is over. fun!

8447888 1/05/2002 08:58:07 PM
i could be working right now, taking crap from every backwards handjob out at this hour, but instead i'm at home, with a belly full of sushi. life rocks.

8378333 1/03/2002 10:14:11 AM
i'm free. i'm glad. i'm relieved. i QUIT! i picked up my check and handed in my smock badge and discount card. the personnel lady didn't care, why should she. in my green separation form i had to fill out with reasons why i quit, i accused them of discrimminating against me based on my immigrant status, and being untrustworthy and dishonest. which they did and are. she didn't find it peculiar, care or even ask about it. i left, happy. i'm going to enjoy a week or two off, get some shit done i've been meaning to tend to, then look for another job. i'm thinking maybe the video store? who knows. auctions on ebay are going great. if i weren't a total snotbag i'd be really happy right now.

8345759 1/02/2002 08:32:14 AM
i've written my magnum opus to management. i won't go quietly. i'm exhausted and plagued with a whopping headache but my mind is racing and i can't rest. i took a bath in delicious fruits & passions goodies my mother sent me for x-mas and i feel a bit better. i have more perspective anyways. i can't wait for her to call me. she is like husband. part protector, part shrink, part kind nurse, and part friend, with a bit of cuddly kitty cat love thrown in the mix. the only thing i feel happy about right now is coming home, because that's all it is to me now, home. this place is not home, it's a transient hotel, and the rut i'm in keeps me here. if it weren't for husband and child i'd be on a bus with a tote bag and a box of crackers, riding for days and days to get there. we can't be that mobile, but time passes and it'll happen soon. i know it. it must. this whole thing wouldn't be so sad and hard for me if i wasn't running on a few hours of restless sleep that ended yesterday at 9:30 pm. my eyes are stinging and i threw up twice from coughing so hard. it's hard to stay composed about upsetting shit when you're already a fucking wreck. i'm trying to stay positive, working on my resume, writing hateful yet diplomatic retorts. like i said... never quietly.

8341015 1/02/2002 03:41:56 AM
things change and sometimes they make apparent just how little you mean to anyone. all it took me was an old horrible rat, an eager assistant manager flexing his muscle in a four dollar tie, and a useless lazy loser that can't deal with anything without someone holding her hand all the way. and so, i'm leaving. fuck you all very much.

8323431 1/01/2002 12:11:40 PM
i was so ill yesterday i threw up three times and had a miserable, miserable new years' celebration. we played trivia, coughed and snotted all over the place. i lost by a landslide. today i feel a bit better, the splitting headache is gone and i can hold food down. husband got some auctions going on ebay, boring man stuff, hopefully he gets gobs of money to put in the trip fund. that's the only thing on my mind these days, getting out of this backwards swamp. it's 2002, time for the x-mas decorations to come down, though not right now. it's too cold out and i'm too lazy.

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